Photo Credit: Morgan Anderson © 2013
A friend of mine recently shared a YouTube video on Facebook titled, "It's Not About the Nail." Jason Headley, the creator of this viral video, spotlights a common divergence in communication and understanding between a male and female. This video, in particular, highlights a woman's desire to be heard, without judgment or assistance, and a man's instinct to help and fix a situation where he sees an obvious solution. It is an age old contention in romantic partnerships that we, more often than not, are better off agreeing to disagree on, or meeting in the middle.
Those of us who battle chronic illnesses have our fair share of "nails," stuck in various places of our body, with little hope of removal and subsequent healing. In our case, it really is about the nail. Unlike the the woman in the YouTube video, we do our best to hide the aches and pains of these nails from onlookers and spend everyday seeking a remedy for our wounds. As this YouTube woman sits proudly with her nail in forehead, she complains of everything but her very obvious, and solvable, problem. She allows herself to be exasperated by trivial matters, issues that the chronically ill only dream of worrying about. Snags in our sweaters? When was the last time we felt up to an occasion that presented the opportunity of wearing a sweater. Heck, I've been wearing the same t-shirt for three days. We, the sick, do not have time to worry about added social, scholastic, or financial 'pressure', as the nagging pain is always there to occupy our thoughts. We feel bad as our loved ones offer their help for a problem that has no immediate solution.
There is a way, however, to relieve some of the pain and discomfort of these nagging nails: share it. If you're like me, your nails are invisible to the naked eye. You have no perceivable signs of an open wound, no obvious signifier that "something is wrong here." If you do not tell the coworkers, friends, and family in your life about your nails, they will not know they are driving them further, adding insult injury. Help the people in your life understand what you are going through, tell them (matter-of-factly) how you are feeling, so that they might be able to work around your nails, perhaps even relieving some of the pressure. It is not our lot in life to suffer in silence and feel alone. We do not have to feel bad about a disease that is not within our control. Our lives will by no measure fit the "norm," but if we don't face our illness honestly, we will never be able to find our own sense of normalcy.
Do not be afraid to share your nails, do not hide them, everyone has experienced the driving force of nails in their life at some point, it is in sharing our experiences that we begin to heal.
Photo Credit: Morgan Anderson © 2013
Photo Credit: Morgan Anderson © 2013
Disclaimer from blogger: This blog originated and was written under the influence of a migraine. I hope the concept comes across despite the obvious lack of brain function.
